Sue was a regular Mrs. Clean, as "together" as her house was. She had the latest clothes and the best hairstyle, and she radiated Southern hospitality--she wasn't even overweight!

As Betty drove up to Sue's house, her thoughts raced back to last Saturday's party where they first met. Betty had looked forward to the get-acquainted parts as a possible escape from her typical Christmas routine. Not that she has any great problem--but then maybe that was the problem. Her husband and family were Christians and so were her friends, all her friends. She wanted to be effective for God to those unbelievers around her. The problem was, she had not even gotten to know any unbelievers around her, much less ever led anyone to Christ.

Probably out of sheer desperation she forced an introduction of herself on Sue at the party. When Sue invited her (along with her two preschoolers) to lunch, she was so elated that she forgot her usual uneasiness about talking to new people. But now, standing in front of Sue's immaculate and obviously expensive house, a short bundle of energy tugging at each arm, all Betty's hesitations returned. And it was not just because Betty wanted to win a soul to Christ. She had really begun to like Sue and was genuinely concerned about her.

But how could Betty ever find a way to talk with Sue about God? She did not appear to have any need for Him. There seemed to be no way.

During lunch, groping for something to talk about, Betty asked, "Do ya'll go to church?"

"Well--we don't go very much," Sue answered, half shouting from the kitchen, where she had gone to get the coffeepot. "My husband doesn't like it much, so we generally just go on Christmas and Easter. Now that the kids are old enough for Sunday school, I think we will start going again." Her voice quieted down as she returned to the dining room.

"Why do you want your children to go?"

"Oh, I've always believed in God," Sue explained. "And, well, I just think their educations would be lacking if they didn't learn about Christianity."

"Would you mind telling me how you'd describe your relationship with God?" Betty inquired. At that, Sue went into her background of attending a mainline denominational church as a child, then getting away from it when she went to college.

"Would you say you've ever come to the place where you know for sure you'd go to heaven if you died?" Betty asked.

"Not really."

"Did you know that the Bible says you can know that?"

"No. Does it?"

"Uh-huh. If you have a Bible, I'll show you."

Sue left and came back with what appeared to be an old family Bible that Aunt Somebody-or-Other must have given her way back when. It looked like it has never been opened past the cover page. Betty turned to 1 John 5, then gave it back to Sue. Pointing to verse thirteen, Betty asked, "Would you read this, and tell me what you think it means?"

" 'These things have I written unto you who believe on the name of the Son of God, that ye may know that ye have eternal life (KJV^*)'--But that says you have to believe," Sue argued. "What if I don't believe enough for it to take?"

"What do you mean by 'believe enough'?" Betty asked.

"I mean, I have too many doubts," Sue continued. "I'd like to believe in God and Jesus completely, but to be honest with you, I have lots of trouble doing that."

"I think the Bible has a different definition of faith than what you're thinking about," Betty said. "It doesn't just mean lack of doubt. Let me show you another verse. " Taking the big black Bible off Sue's lap, Betty thumbed over to the gospel of John, chapter one, and read verse twelve. " 'But as many as received him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name (KJV).' You see, believing is a decision to receive Jesus Christ into your life as your own God and Savior, not some feeling that you don't have any doubts."

"But how much faith do you need to have to receive Christ?" Sue asked.

"It's not an amount," Betty answered, "it's a choice. You see, Sue, the Bible says that you get to God by faith, not works."

"Oh, yes. I remember being taught that in Sunday school."

"But," Betty continued, "if faith was some degree of believing you had to conjure up, some amount of 'nondoubt' you had to achieve, it would be a work."

"You mean it's enough to just say I believe in Jesus?"

"No. You need to receive Him."

"Well, what's the difference?"

About that time, the dining room was invaded by Betty's four-year-old with Sue's three-year-old in hot pursuit. That sort of interruption had been common, and Betty was tempted to quit and go home several times. But she felt Sue was close to making a decision, so she pressed on.

"May I borrow a pen?" Betty asked. Sue reached over and handed her the pen that had been sitting next to her on the table.

"Let's suppose you needed a pen for something, and I said I would give you this one." Betty held out the pen as she continued talking. "Do you believe I'd give you this pen?"

"Yes, I guess so," Sue answered.

"Then why don't you have it?"

"Well--because--because you haven't given it to me."

"I've made it available. I've offered it to you," Betty went on, "and you said you'd believe me if I said I'd give it to you."

"Yes--"

"But we could sit here all day, and you could believe that way and never get the pen. Lots of people believe about Jesus the way you believe about the pen, but since they've never received Him, they don't have Him any more than you have the pen. What would you have to do to get the pen?"

"I'd have to take it, I guess," Sue realized.

"Well, go ahead," Betty coaxed. But Sue hesitated. Just then one of her children, who had been watching the offer, reached up and grabbed the pen. "Well!" Betty exclaimed. "If that was God's offer of eternal life through Christ, your daughter would have it, but you would still be without it--faith and all."

They both laughed a little, then Betty continued, "Sue, I'd like to invite you to receive Christ as your personal God and Savior right now. Is there anything keeping you from doing that?"

"I think I've already done that," Sue answered. "I went forward in my church when I was little."

"Now Sue," Betty reasoned, "you know as well as I if you grew up in a conservative church and did not go forward sometime or other, you'd be the exception instead of the rule. Tell me, what did you say to God when you went forward, what decision did you make?"

"I don't remember saying anything." Sue chuckled. "Everybody in my Sunday school class went forward. I was the last holdout, and my teacher wanted a perfect record."

"I don't know if you received Christ then or not," Betty went on. "But since you weren't sure that you'd go to heaven, why don't you pray again with me right now."

"But I pray every day."

"Have you prayed for God to forgive all your sins?" Betty inquired.

"I ask Him to forgive my sins every night."

"Then you may have never asked Him into your life to cleanse you."

"Why do you say that?" Sue asked.

"Because then you never have to ask for that again."

"Well, I do think I should begin studying the Bible more," Sue concluded. "For me, this will be a long process of study."

"That's great," Betty answered. "But the first step in understanding the Bible is to have the Spirit of God inside you, making it clear to you. I'd be glad to meet with you regularly, if you'd like."

"That would be great," Sue answered.

"Of course, we must do it God's way. All right?" Betty insisted.

"Sure."

"But God's way is for you to begin by receiving Jesus Christ as your own God and Savior. Would you make sure of that with a prayer right now?"

Sue agreed. She prayed: "Dear God, I realize that I'm a sinner and that Jesus Christ paid for my sins on the cross. I invite Jesus into my life as my God and Savior right now. Thanks. Amen."

The initial believing that introduces someone into God's family is expressed in the Bible by a key word: receive. When writing to the Corinthians, Paul said, "The gospel which I preached to you, which also you received . . . I also received" (1 Corinthians 15:1,3), italics added). When reasoning with the Colossian believers, he said, "You therefore have received Christ Jesus" (2:6, italics added). He explained to the Thessalonians about "those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved" (2 Thessalonians 2:10, italics added). In his letter to the Galatians, Paul wrote concerning the "gospel" that they "received" (1:9, italics added). It is the apostle John, however, who seems to have expressed it the most clearly when he defined "those who believe in His name" as those who "received Him" (John 1:12, italics added).

With patience, but also persistence, Betty used five questions to lead Sue to an understanding that she needed to receive Christ. After talking with many people who frequently lead others to Christ (one per week or more) I uncovered an interesting pattern. I found those five questions, or some variation of them, are nearly always part of their thinking as they approach unbelievers:

The subject is best approached with one's using the word "God" instead of the word "Jesus." It is often less threatening for people to talk about God than to talk about Jesus. Satan seems to have geared people to shut us off when they hear the word "Jesus." So begin with "God."

Of course, some other circumstances will generally precede that first question. Sometimes God opens up opportunities for us when people make comments on national news items that are religious in nature. They may be impressed (or depressed) by some movie or TV program. Other times, the opener may be a book they have read or personal tragedy in their family or business. Still other times, it is possible to begin with a question like Betty used when she asked, "Do ya'll go to church?" The key is to pray for an open door (Colossians 4:3) and then be sensitive to God's working in people's lives. When we see God at work with our unbelieving friends through one of those things, we might ask them what they think God would say about it. Then we can proceed with the first of those regularly-used five questions.

To the question "Has your relationship with God come to the place where you know for sure you would go to heaven if you died?" it is common to add the phrase "or are you still on the way?" Some prefer to say, "If God were to ask you why He should let you into heaven, what would you say?" The point is, true believers are usually certain of their relationship with God. The Bible says, "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God" (Romans 8:16). This question not only helps the Christian discern whether or not the one he is talking to is a believer, but it also helps the non-Christian to spotlight a specific shortcoming in his relationship with God.

Let them read 1 John 5:13. That verse not only shows "that you may know that you have eternal life," but also that this knowing is for those "who believe in the name of the Son of God (italics added." That, then, leads naturally to the next question.

Now show them John 1:12, explaining that believe means receive. An illustration is helpful here. For example, you can believe a certain medicine will help you, but until you take it (that is, receive it) your faith will not do you any good. Betty's example of receiving a pen is probably the best.

There are any number of ways you can illustrate this. Once while discussing it at a lunch with a man, I poured some coffee out of my cup onto the table just in front of him. Then I asked him if he believed the napkin I was holding could wipe it up before it ran onto his pants. He sat for a moment watching the spill get closer and closer to his lap, then answered, "No--yes--I don't know--give me that thing!" Then he grabbed the napkin and wiped up the stream of coffee before it spilled off the table onto his suit. I then explained how, of the four responses he made, three of them ("yes," "no," and "I don't know") were all useless faith. To respond, "Yes," to Christ is just as useless as to respond "No," or, "I don't know," if it does not involve receiving Him. The Bible says, "The demons also believe, and shudder" (James 2:19). The spilled coffee made clear to him that only when he received Christ like he received the napkin would his sins be wiped away.

It is best to invite a person to pray with you right then. I have found that nearly 100 percent of those who say they will pray later, do not. If the person insists on waiting, write out a prayer on your business card and give it to him or her for a reminder. Of course we must understand that praying a prayer is not to be equated with receiving Christ. Nevertheless, a prayer can be an effective way of communicating that decision to God.

Sue also offered four common last-minute objections to receiving Christ. Here is a list of those with the answers Betty gave.

Her first objection was, "I'd like to believe, but I have too many doubts." That comment reveals a misunderstanding of the John 1:12 idea of what it means to believe. Today we use the word believe in two completely different ways. One is to describe the opposite of doubt, and the other is to indicate a decision to receive God's gift of eternal life. If faith were a matter of achieving a certain amount of relative nondoubt, it would be a work of man instead of a gift from God, and the Bible clearly says it is not a work of man (Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5).

Remember the man who had to deal with the coffee I spilled on the table? His first three responses as to whether or not the napkin would wipe it up ("yes," "no," and "I don't know") were assuming a definition of faith that means relative nondoubt. Only when he said, "Give me that thing," and received the napkin did he apply the biblical idea of faith to Christ. His doubts and his nondoubts were all together in his response. He took the napkin, doubts and all. In just that way Jesus Christ asks us to receive Him, doubts and all. He begs us to come to Him just as we are. Many people have the idea that they need to clean up their act before they receive Christ. But all our righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) --even our righteous attempts to achieve less doubt. So, biblically speaking, there is no such thing as not being able to believe due to doubts; there is only refusing to believe. The question is not "Can you receive Christ?" but "Will you?"

A second common objection to making a decision is, "I already did that when I was young." Many people in America have grown up in a situation that required some sort of religious action by its young people. We are confirmed or baptized; we are asked to come forward, stand up, raise a hand, go through a class. It is true God can use such an occasion to bring kids to Himself. In many cases, though, it is only another of the many growing-up procedures we perform. It may be highlighted in our memory but still not be a time when we actually received Christ. When you talk to an adult who has gone through one of those ceremonies as a child and ask him to accept Christ, he is going to immediately search back through his mental file of religious memorabilia, desperately looking for something he can equate with what you are talking about. And, sure enough, most of us can find something. A normal response is, "I've done that as a child." Be ready for it. The best answer is to go through the above reasoning with the person, especially if you, too, can recall such an experience, and then go on to ask him what he told God at that time. If (as is usually true) he doesn't remember, ask him to pray with you now to be sure.

A third last-minute holdout is a comment similar to, "I pray all the time," or, "I do that every night before I go to sleep." Not only is it true that many of us went through some childhood religious ceremony, but one other fact is true of almost all adults: they pray. From atheists to fanatics, most people pray. Also, realizing their imperfections, most people ask God to forgive their sins and accept them. And they do that regularly. The trouble is, Jesus Christ is the only solution for that.

Besides, God never forgives sins nor does He want us to ask Him to accept us. God forgives sinners, not sins. "Forgive us our debts" (Matthew 6:12, italics added) says the model prayer Christ gave His disciples. Sins must be paid for. Either we pay for them for eternity, or we receive Christ's payment for them on the cross; but they must be paid for, not just forgiven. So we need not ask Christ to accept us. Instead, we need to accept Him. The difference here goes far beyond semantics. People saying they do what we are talking about every night, do not understand what we are talking about.

A fourth typical response is, "For me this will be a long process of study." That is a response I would readily agree with. Then I would offer to meet with the person. There are several reasons. For one thing, a person becomes "born again" (in the sense of John 3:3 and 1 Peter 1:3-5) when he receives Christ, not necessarily when he prays a prayer to that effect. Try as we may not to manipulate a person into an insincere commitment, it happens. I do not find it uncommon to pray with a person to receive Christ two or three times-as his awareness begins to grow. Of course, you are born again at only one point in time, and salvation is not something you ooze into-it is a gift and you get it all at once. But just exactly when the person we are talking with makes that choice, we do not know. And that is not important. What is important is that he does, and the best way to make sure he does is to help him get regular input from the Bible.

Another reason I like the "further study" response is that it gives me an opportunity to pray with the person to receive the Lord Jesus Christ as God's only means for a relationship with Himself. And that relationship is essential in order for God to teach him the Scriptures.

As we mentioned, Betty led Sue to Christ that day. But it did not end there. They began to meet together once a week to study the Bible--kids and all. It would have been easy to use their children as an excuse, and often it was difficult to concentrate, but they pressed on. Today Sue is a growing woman of God being a representative of Jesus Christ to her family.

^[*]  King James Version.