There are two characteristics of anything alive: it grows and it reproduces. The same is true of those who are alive spiritually. Reproductions of our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is commanded in the Bible, but the commandment merely tells us to do what is normal to a living supernatural spirituality. When we have a new life in Christ, we naturally have an urge to reproduce.

But how? Just because something is natural does not mean it is always done well. Doing it well takes wisdom. As we look at the Word of God and the way God has reproduced it most effectively in the lives of people, we can learn to be sharper instruments in God's hand.

This chapter does not contain everything you will ever need to know about witnessing. What I have included here are some ideas that one person (without the spiritual gift of evangelism or a natural gift of gab) had to learn the hard way.

Our peer group exerts tremendous influence over the way we think--even as adults. We feel comfortable thinking thoughts and living life-styles similar to the ones around us. Those thoughts can become thought-habits that we believe without thinking.

For example, people from different parts of the world see things in unique ways. Various areas of our own country tend toward similarity. There's a "Noo Yawk" life-style, a California mentality, Southern hospitality. Living in Dallas, I feel good about being a Cowboy fan. But of course I am surrounded by over a million other Cowboy fans. I feel good about flying because I hang around with other guys who fly. As the saying goes, "If you've seen one, you've seen them all." People feel good about developing beliefs and habit-patterns similar to those around them--their peer group.

Unbelievers, like the rest of us, often feel "right" about their unbelief or disbelief because it is in harmony with those of the people around them. Like the rest of us, they feel comfortable when their life-styles and belief patterns reach a functioning status quo with those closest to them.

One of the best ways to penetrate that pattern is friendship. Suppose we think of witnessing as building a friendship that may result in a decision for Christ, instead of aiming for a decision that could result in a friendship. Then Christianity could infect the life of almost anybody! A Christina who is a close friend of an unbeliever becomes part of his peer group. The thoughts of the unbeliever then must change to accommodate those of his new Christian friend. After a time, the non-Christian's value system becomes less comfortable to him and he begins to feel better about considering the biblical ideas of his Christian friend.

The Holy Spirit often uses such relationships to reveal the glory of God to the unbeliever through the changed life of his Christian friend. Reflecting on the way he reached the Thessalonians, the apostle Paul wrote, "Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us" (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Suppose our eternal reward in heaven depends on how many unbelieving friends we have? Of course, it doesn't--at least not exclusively. But consider that. When Paul talked about rewards in 2 Corinthians 5:10, he went on to say, "Therefore knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade men" (v. 11). And when he discussed rewards in 1 Corinthians 9:17-18 he went on to say, "I have become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some" (v. 22). And the way he went about saving some in Thessalonica was through building friendships. Friendships can be the key that unlocks the hearts of those around us.

Every so often somebody will do a survey and publish some statistics about evangelism. Those statistics always vary, but I have noticed one fairly consistent pattern. There is a big gap between the number who claim to have made a decision for Christ and the number who go on to grow in the Lord in some measurable way. There may, of course, be all kinds of reasons for that; but one fact is sure. Almost everybody seems to have a problem with follow-up.

I have also noticed that, of the people whom we have seen come to Christ over the last ten years or so, from 80 to 90 percent go on to grow in the Lord. I do not mean just the ones I have led to Christ. I mean those I have known about--like the ones in this book. What is the difference? Friendship! I have also noticed that when someone makes a further survey of how those people who do go on in Christ came to be saved, it is almost always through close friends or relatives--someone close to them who cared enough.

The Bible is packed full of friendships. God has chosen to reveal Himself by bringing one person up alongside another so closely that one becomes infected with the glory of God as it radiates from the other. There were Elijah and Elisha (1 Kings 19:19-21); Eli and Samuel (1 Samuel 3:1-19); Moses and Joshua (Joshua 1:1-3); Naomi and Ruth (Ruth 1:15-18); Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45); Christ and the twelve, especially Peter (John 21:15); Luke and Theophilus (Luke 1:1-4, Acts 1:1-2); Peter and John Mark (1 Peter 5:13); Peter and Silvanus (1 Peter 5:12); Barnabas and John Mark (Acts 15:39); Paul and Silas (Acts 15:40); Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-3); Paul and Titus (Titus 1:4); Paul and Philemon (Philemon 4, 13, 14, 17, and 20); Paul and Onesimus (Philemon 10-11); Paul and Archippus (Colossians 4:17); Paul and Prisca and Aquila (2 Timothy 4:19); Paul and Onesiphorus (2 Timothy 4:19); Paul and Eubulus (2 Timothy 4:21); Paul and Pudens (2 Timothy 4:21); Paul and Linus (2 Timothy 4:21); Paul and Claudia (2 Timothy 4:21); Paul and Trophimus (2 Timothy 4:20); Paul and Erastus (2 Timothy 4:20); Paul and Zenas (Titus 3:13); Paul and Apollos (Titus 3:13); Paul and Epaphras (Philemon 23); John and Gaius (3 John 1); John and Demetrius (3 John 12); and many others.

Making friends is not the only way to witness. And if it is done as a gimmick, it will be manipulative and phony. But when we sincerely want to be people's friends whether they receive Christ or not, we give them a great opportunity to see what the living God can do with plain old unfancy sinners like us.

After years of studying people who are more gifted than I at relating their faith to unbelievers, I have picked up lots of pointers that all add up to a successful witnessing. A few of those little gems are:

  If you are talking with someone you will probably see again (a neighbor, relative, or business associate), it is usually better not to attempt to lead him to Christ during the first discussion about spiritual things. The word "usually" is, of course, important. A person may be ready, and if he is, you must be available to explain the whole plan of salvation and invite him to receive Christ. But by and large it is better to let your friend absorb the truth over several conversations.

  If possible, talk with people alone. An unbeliever generally finds considering new issues easier without an audience. If there is another believer present, your friend may be tempted to debate instead of decide. If you are with another unbeliever, your friend may think about agreement instead of truth.

  Realize that rejection is an essential part of acceptance. People tend to deal with any new idea by first rejecting it. If they don't reject it, then either it is not new or they are not really considering it. After rejecting an idea, they are open to reconsidering it; that second stage in people's thinking involves accepting part of the new idea and rejecting other parts. Then finally they are open to accepting the idea. The progression may take minutes or years. I especially remember one time when I told this to a group of Christians. Two weeks later one man came up to me and said, "You know, when you first said that, I thought it was absolutely wrong. Then I thought about it and realized that it was probably partly true. Now I tend to think you're right."

  "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This is not a "little thing." I mention it briefly only because this is not a book on prayer. But it is prayer that effects a supernatural work. Mature men and women of God have always been people of prayer. All the friends and all the right techniques and all the right answers to all the questions will not put spiritual life into anybody. God can and will use us as instruments in His hand. It is true that all those things can make us sharper and therefore more useful instruments. But it is God who causes the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6-7).

Man can build a statue, but he cannot make it breathe. He can paint a painting, but he cannot make it live. We can build churches, have evangelistic campaigns, or try to reach our neighbors. But unless God is in it, those activities are worthless. And the divine means of effecting any supernatural work is prayer. "The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." And you know who said that? The man who probably knew our Lord better than anyone else--His physical half-brother, James, in 5:16 of his epistle.

  Be familiar with references that quote Jesus Christ directly, not that Jesus' words are any more inspired than the rest of the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16), but unbelievers are often more curious about what Jesus said. Skeptics have fostered the idea that the Christianity we believe was made up by His followers. It is common to hear, "Well, Jesus never claimed to be God or the only way. That was just made up later on." The gospel of John is especially valuable here--I consider it God's manual on salvation. Here are some passages you should be familiar with. I generally take a new believer through these passages as soon as possible if I have not already covered them with him before he receives Christ. They include: John 3:16-18, 36; 4:25-26; 5:24; 6:28-29; 8:24; 10:10, 28-29; 14:1-9; and 20:26-29.

  Emphasize biblical understanding. Many well-meaning believers fail in their attempts to witness to friends because they require them to believe the Bible without giving them a chance to understand it. I recently asked a Hindu gentleman, "Do you understand what the Bible says about God?"

God promised that His Word would not return without accomplishing what He desired (Isaiah 55:11). The Bible is the sword of the Christian (Ephesians 6:17). If your only weapon in a battle was a sword, and your adversary did not believe in swords, would you put it down and admit defeat? I hope not! If you use it, he'll believe it! In Thessalonica as well as in Rome, Paul "reasoned with them from the Scriptures" (Acts 17:2), "trying to persuade them concerning Jesus, from both the Law of Moses and from the Prophets" (Acts 28:23).

Many of the people to whom we witness reject the Bible without having the foggiest notion about its real message. You may have noticed that in the discussions recorded in this book. Often faith in Jesus Christ merely awaits a clarification of what the Bible really says.

  Be a student of unbelievers. You cannot learn to answer unbeliever's questions by simply studying a book--even this one. It is important to learn from books, other people, sermons, seminars, or anywhere you can, but be sure you think the answers through yourself. Every personality is different, and some answers will be more useful to you than others.

  Encourage conversation. Often an unbeliever has been run over, somewhere in life, by a religious steamroller. Nearly three thousand years ago Solomon wrote, "He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to Him," and also, "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Proverbs 18:13, 19). Anything that resembles manipulation or a lecture series may ring in the unbeliever's ears like the rumble of another approaching steamroller.

But Solomon also wrote, "A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!" (Proverbs 15:23). One excellent way to find that "apt answer" is to listen. Encourage conversation. How? Ask for opinions instead of facts. Facts are threatening. Opinions are exciting. If we ask rhetorically, "What did Jesus say about that?" we may be setting up the person for our answer (which no one likes) or requiring him to be knowledgeable about what Jesus said. Because he is probably not an expert on Jesus, we have placed him in an embarrassing position. Ask instead, "What do you think about the statement Jesus made when he said . . .?" Then quote it or let your friend read it. That way he has the freedom to deal with the truth in a way most familiar to him--his own opinion.

Another way to encourage conversation is to let the person challenge what you believe. The statement "If the Bible is full of errors--show me one" says you want to show your doubting friend how ignorant he is and how smart (or how much of a smart-aleck) you are. It is better to say something like, "I've come to believe that the Bible does not have any errors in it. I don't want to believe that if it's not true for everybody. Does that seem reasonable to you?"

Our conversation should always be motivational. When the Lord Jesus spoke with unbelievers, some were excited, some were outraged, but nobody was bored! Paul told the Colossians, "Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person" (Colossians 4:5-6).

It is tempting to pretend that God never said "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations" (Matthew 28:19). But He did.

Take me, for instance. After more than ten years of work in evangelism, I am as convinced as ever that I do not have the gift of evangelism. And my tendency is to use that as an excuse to pretend God did not say what He did.

I remember one time feeling sufficiently guilty for not witnessing. I crammed my pockets full of tracts, cornered some guy, and dumped the whole load on him. I embarrassed him and humiliated myself. My victim fled, and I retreated to my room with my theological tail between my legs.

"I'll be a teacher," I thought. "After all, the need for teaching is almost epidemic in Christianity today." Do we need good teachers? Of course we do. Did I have the gift of teaching? Probably so. What does that have to do with the fact that God left me on this earth to tell others? Nothing. It was just my way of explaining to God that He really didn't say what He did. All my attempts at rationalizing did not change the fact that there is "more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance" (Luke 15:7). That hounded me. Even if I became a great teacher, I still must answer the question, "What difference will it make five hundred years from now?"

There are many gifts and many callings within the body of Christ, but none of them give us a license to neglect the lost. God does not want us to be something we cannot be. Nor does He want us to be oddballs. We just need to come to Him honestly, available (as 1 Corinthians 9:22 says) to become all things to all men, that we might by all means save some.